[ Wade groans, a hand swatting at Peter, before resting on the present on his chest. Wait, present? His eyes pop open. In an instant he's scrambling to sit up in bed, cross-legged.
He looks the present over, turning it over and over. Enough of that, he tears into the wrapping paper like a child. His head cocks to the side curiously as he looks at what he's been given before grinning. ]
You really put me to shame this year.
[ There's just a long moment of him drawing a Deadpool and a Spidey on it before Wade sets it down gently and practically pounces on Peter, pressing kisses against his neck up to his cheek. With a pleased hum he rolls over Peter and off the bed on his side to scurry out of the room. When he returns, he has three wrapped gifts in his arms -- one a significantly smaller one, and a bottle of wine with a bow on it.
He's like a big dumb child, excited about placing almost all the presents gently on the bed by Peter. He holds onto the smaller box however.
Inside them are as follows: The first is a box that is inside another box that is inside another box, inside another box..... Finally inside that box is a piece of Wade's suit, the one that fixes itself.
[Did he hook up with a man with the chaotic energy of a five-year-old?
Yes, yes he did.
It's absolutely why he got him something so dorky; the look of appreciation on Wade's face is enough to say as much, and as Wade jumps him, he returns the excitable touching with half-asleep but no less fond touching and kissing of his own. Then the weight over him is gone and he's pushing himself up in bed, yawning into a hand before he's got gifts placed at his side.]
If any of these are haunted dolls, I'm breaking up with you.
[But the threat doesn't hold much merit as he sloooooowly unwraps each one, just to make Wade squirm. There's an amused snort at the vase, and it's absolutely something he expected, which will apparently find a home on the nightstand to his side. Beautiful. Elegant. Dignified.
The key, though — he looks a little surprised, glancing at Wade.]
... This isn't a key to a BDSM dungeon I don't know about, is it?
[ Wade's practically vibrating with restless energy by the time Peter gets to the key and the question actually causes him to settle. His lips press into a line as he stares at Peter, but it doesn't seem to be in offense. The corners of his lips pull up into a smile. His tone is light and casual when he speaks. ]
Do you want it to be a key to a BDSM dungeon you don't know about? If I'd known you wanted that for Christmas I think this morning would be going a little differently.
Gimme an hour and I can MacGyver a fun time with some wire, a car battery and some candles.
[ He's probably joking... probably. Or maybe not. ]
Pretty sure of all the things you shouldn't MacGyver, a BDSM room is one of them. That just leads to tetanus. Pretty sure. [He turns the key in his hands, though, smiling a little more softly. He shimmies himself across the bed to press his side against Wade.] ... Besides, my other present's in your basement, and I'm pretty sure I would have noticed a sex dungeon.
[A pause.]
... Thanks.
[He knows it's been... a hell of a year, and the last few months have been especially tense, but — that's just normal at this point, for everything to explode every other day. You just... try to make do with what you've got.
And he's got a key.
And that clearly gives him the okay to find drugs and flush them down toilets.]
[ A loud and dramatic gasp escapes him and he aborts what appears to be an attempt to go back to enjoying his new Christmas gift. ] Did you Ron Swanson me a BDSM dungeon in my own basement? My hard nos are asphyxiation, anything resembling doctor stuff, and Po costumes. Who are we kidding? Hard nos are more like tentative maybes if you play your cards right.
[ The thanks takes him by surprise and he doesn't really know what he's being thanked for, so instead of saying anything about it, he shrugs his shoulders and rests his head on one of Peter's shoulders with a small hum that could probably easily be considered contented. ] I'm gonna drink eggnog 'til I'm tired and sleep until I want more eggnog. And then rinse, lather and repeat.
... My hard nos will need some time to think, but the main one is 'no spider-man jokes'.
I like to think of it as sadism, torturing you by keeping those off-limits. [He doesn't sound all that serious about a BDSM dungeon at all. He glances over at Wade, craning his neck.] Whoever drinks the most eggnog gets a lifetime supply of eggnog?
You know just how to hurt me, baby boy. [ He also doesn't sound all that serious, besides, he's already thought of like fifteen loopholes.
He tilts his head to look back at Peter. It seems Pete has collected a barnacle. ]
I don't know how to make eggnog. Where's the lifetime supply coming from? It's on like Donkey Kong, prepare to get your perfectly sculpted not-at-all arachnid ass kicked.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
He looks the present over, turning it over and over. Enough of that, he tears into the wrapping paper like a child. His head cocks to the side curiously as he looks at what he's been given before grinning. ]
You really put me to shame this year.
[ There's just a long moment of him drawing a Deadpool and a Spidey on it before Wade sets it down gently and practically pounces on Peter, pressing kisses against his neck up to his cheek. With a pleased hum he rolls over Peter and off the bed on his side to scurry out of the room. When he returns, he has three wrapped gifts in his arms -- one a significantly smaller one, and a bottle of wine with a bow on it.
He's like a big dumb child, excited about placing almost all the presents gently on the bed by Peter. He holds onto the smaller box however.
Inside them are as follows: The first is a box that is inside another box that is inside another box, inside another box..... Finally inside that box is a piece of Wade's suit, the one that fixes itself.
The next gift is this ugly thing.
And then in the last one that he'll hand over a bit hesitantly, is a a key. The key to Wade's front door, so he doesn't have to keep sneaking in. ]
no subject
Yes, yes he did.
It's absolutely why he got him something so dorky; the look of appreciation on Wade's face is enough to say as much, and as Wade jumps him, he returns the excitable touching with half-asleep but no less fond touching and kissing of his own. Then the weight over him is gone and he's pushing himself up in bed, yawning into a hand before he's got gifts placed at his side.]
If any of these are haunted dolls, I'm breaking up with you.
[But the threat doesn't hold much merit as he sloooooowly unwraps each one, just to make Wade squirm. There's an amused snort at the vase, and it's absolutely something he expected, which will apparently find a home on the nightstand to his side. Beautiful. Elegant. Dignified.
The key, though — he looks a little surprised, glancing at Wade.]
... This isn't a key to a BDSM dungeon I don't know about, is it?
no subject
Do you want it to be a key to a BDSM dungeon you don't know about? If I'd known you wanted that for Christmas I think this morning would be going a little differently.
Gimme an hour and I can MacGyver a fun time with some wire, a car battery and some candles.
[ He's probably joking... probably. Or maybe not. ]
no subject
Pretty sure of all the things you shouldn't MacGyver, a BDSM room is one of them. That just leads to tetanus. Pretty sure. [He turns the key in his hands, though, smiling a little more softly. He shimmies himself across the bed to press his side against Wade.] ... Besides, my other present's in your basement, and I'm pretty sure I would have noticed a sex dungeon.
[A pause.]
... Thanks.
[He knows it's been... a hell of a year, and the last few months have been especially tense, but — that's just normal at this point, for everything to explode every other day. You just... try to make do with what you've got.
And he's got a key.
And that clearly gives him the okay to find drugs and flush them down toilets.]
no subject
[ The thanks takes him by surprise and he doesn't really know what he's being thanked for, so instead of saying anything about it, he shrugs his shoulders and rests his head on one of Peter's shoulders with a small hum that could probably easily be considered contented. ] I'm gonna drink eggnog 'til I'm tired and sleep until I want more eggnog. And then rinse, lather and repeat.
no subject
I like to think of it as sadism, torturing you by keeping those off-limits. [He doesn't sound all that serious about a BDSM dungeon at all. He glances over at Wade, craning his neck.] Whoever drinks the most eggnog gets a lifetime supply of eggnog?
no subject
He tilts his head to look back at Peter. It seems Pete has collected a barnacle. ]
I don't know how to make eggnog. Where's the lifetime supply coming from? It's on like Donkey Kong, prepare to get your perfectly sculpted not-at-all arachnid ass kicked.