Pretty sure of all the things you shouldn't MacGyver, a BDSM room is one of them. That just leads to tetanus. Pretty sure. [He turns the key in his hands, though, smiling a little more softly. He shimmies himself across the bed to press his side against Wade.] ... Besides, my other present's in your basement, and I'm pretty sure I would have noticed a sex dungeon.
[A pause.]
... Thanks.
[He knows it's been... a hell of a year, and the last few months have been especially tense, but — that's just normal at this point, for everything to explode every other day. You just... try to make do with what you've got.
And he's got a key.
And that clearly gives him the okay to find drugs and flush them down toilets.]
[ A loud and dramatic gasp escapes him and he aborts what appears to be an attempt to go back to enjoying his new Christmas gift. ] Did you Ron Swanson me a BDSM dungeon in my own basement? My hard nos are asphyxiation, anything resembling doctor stuff, and Po costumes. Who are we kidding? Hard nos are more like tentative maybes if you play your cards right.
[ The thanks takes him by surprise and he doesn't really know what he's being thanked for, so instead of saying anything about it, he shrugs his shoulders and rests his head on one of Peter's shoulders with a small hum that could probably easily be considered contented. ] I'm gonna drink eggnog 'til I'm tired and sleep until I want more eggnog. And then rinse, lather and repeat.
... My hard nos will need some time to think, but the main one is 'no spider-man jokes'.
I like to think of it as sadism, torturing you by keeping those off-limits. [He doesn't sound all that serious about a BDSM dungeon at all. He glances over at Wade, craning his neck.] Whoever drinks the most eggnog gets a lifetime supply of eggnog?
You know just how to hurt me, baby boy. [ He also doesn't sound all that serious, besides, he's already thought of like fifteen loopholes.
He tilts his head to look back at Peter. It seems Pete has collected a barnacle. ]
I don't know how to make eggnog. Where's the lifetime supply coming from? It's on like Donkey Kong, prepare to get your perfectly sculpted not-at-all arachnid ass kicked.
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no subject
Pretty sure of all the things you shouldn't MacGyver, a BDSM room is one of them. That just leads to tetanus. Pretty sure. [He turns the key in his hands, though, smiling a little more softly. He shimmies himself across the bed to press his side against Wade.] ... Besides, my other present's in your basement, and I'm pretty sure I would have noticed a sex dungeon.
[A pause.]
... Thanks.
[He knows it's been... a hell of a year, and the last few months have been especially tense, but — that's just normal at this point, for everything to explode every other day. You just... try to make do with what you've got.
And he's got a key.
And that clearly gives him the okay to find drugs and flush them down toilets.]
no subject
[ The thanks takes him by surprise and he doesn't really know what he's being thanked for, so instead of saying anything about it, he shrugs his shoulders and rests his head on one of Peter's shoulders with a small hum that could probably easily be considered contented. ] I'm gonna drink eggnog 'til I'm tired and sleep until I want more eggnog. And then rinse, lather and repeat.
no subject
I like to think of it as sadism, torturing you by keeping those off-limits. [He doesn't sound all that serious about a BDSM dungeon at all. He glances over at Wade, craning his neck.] Whoever drinks the most eggnog gets a lifetime supply of eggnog?
no subject
He tilts his head to look back at Peter. It seems Pete has collected a barnacle. ]
I don't know how to make eggnog. Where's the lifetime supply coming from? It's on like Donkey Kong, prepare to get your perfectly sculpted not-at-all arachnid ass kicked.